Tag Archives: machiaveli

Youth and Lust: The ever going guilty pressure..

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There is no huge difference between 20 and 18, when you simply look at the  numerical difference. However when it comes down to an affair…it actually matters. Yes world,  I started an affair with a  freshman (he  just graduated from high school).  It feels liberating to scream it out to the world! Because nothing is easy when dealing with someone who has just arrived to University. I usually laughed and criticised my female friends for dating younger men. But the wheel of fortune shifted so critically insane, bringing a joyful, lovely, beautiful, teen-ish chaos..What is it? that makes us fools for the young and beautiful? Why are we infatuated so passionately for these hot, cute and still confused men? I will now dedicate to first characterise the man of the affair and what he represents..And then I’ll analyse how lust is unavoidable when the young suddenly appear and the dangerous road ahead.

I would like to begin by stating that I am not an old person…and when I refer to this young man, I do it thinking of a teen-adult ready to take the world. Full of hope and fitness, but  among all of their many qualities, they have a driving force of nature that makes them very interesting. In my case there is also a huge empathy for him and his huge intellect (he has other huge talents).

The fun thing about this young men is that they like intrigue and sexual tension building up. For them its like fuel…. In my case, my young man is a player of words and conversations. He raises the level of my blood and as soon as things are starting to heat up, he stands back always leaving wanting more..A Machiavellian in his own right and a true master of flirting… When we are physically near….its hard not to kiss him and hug him..

Youth is a mirror of what we all were and how we felt back then. I never noticed a younger man as someone I’d like to be with…But now I can’t get enough..

The beginning of this affair has proved me wrong about so many things. And I am scared..I am starting to feel some attachment. A feeling that risks it all..Because the great issue with this affair is that on one side, he doesn’t know what he wants and on the other side, I am moving towards a more serious thing…So our interests are different.. Making things uncomfortable and weird…When I was like him, all I wanted was to play and have a good time! I was very lost at that time, fearing my own feelings and desires.

Lust and Youth are two concepts that are exclusive of each other. And they have shaped so far the interactions of this new affair…..Recently we finally kissed and fooled around.  Just look at this scene:  a cold forest +  night + the danger of being seen at any time.  Could this be anymore exciting? I don’t think so and that is precisely what he has brought to me: Excitement and passion..

But there is a down side in all of this. There is a rising risk of the wheel of fortune turning again. And this time to love (I cant believe I just said it). Unfortunately I am not as cynical and cold hearted as I wished. And this guy makes me even more vulnerable. They are as charming and ruthless as summer goes out into winter (or is it fall?).  I would love to simply think of this as something physical and temporal.. But I can’t…I am profoundly infatuated. And that is the problem with such young delightful men..They infatuate us to later dump us..And that is how this game is played.. I knew it, but still I went for it..

What will happen later?? How  will this end? I don’t know..But there is something certain about this young lusty men, with them everything ends  passionately.

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